Posted in finances, General Life, Rants, The Dream, Uncategorized, work

Risks

I’m not much of a risk taker. I have lately been telling myself I want to be one. To my readers I’m sorry I haven’t posted lately, but I’ve been dealing with a lot the last week.

First off I wanted to make this post one to promote my amazing friend and her new business venture, but I feel I need to take a moment to be a bit selfish so I can share an update on my life.

So I typically talk about wanting to pay off my debt and my goals to make this blog something that will be a financial benefit. That is still my goal, but this week I took a huge risk that might shake up the course of things for a while. Currently I have a job with a company that I have been a part of for almost five years. It’s a very high stress job and it’s tearing me apart. To help put things into perspective the depression and anxiety I feel daily wasn’t even this high when I lost my mother. I sit at work feeling sick to my stomach everyday due to the insane pressure of just completing my assignments on time. I’ve barely slept, and I struggle with eating everyday. Normally I come home and have a good cry while trying to force feed myself. Yesterday I decided I’d had enough. After a confrontation with my direct supervisor and a panic attack on the drive home that nearly caused me to have to pull over I called my dad and we discussed what I could do to better handle the situation. After a five minutes we came to the perfect solution.

Today I handed in my two week notice.

It was definitely a risk. I have nothing to fall back on right now. I have some stuff sitting on the side that I could consider, but nothing confirm and that terrifies me. My first reaction was to have a minor panic attack after I sent the resignation, but as the day went on and my coworkers spoke to me I felt a weight lift off of me. I’m still emotionally exhausted but I feel for the first in a long time I’ll actually sleep well tonight. I had people come up and congratulate me, and then when I told them I had nothing to fall back on stare at me in amazement. Some said I was crazy, but others said they admired my boldness. You’ve all seen my debt and as you know I’m constantly broke and living paycheck to paycheck. So I decided what’s better, broke and happy or broke and miserable? The answer is obvious.

So here I go. Off to figure out what the heck I’m doing with myself. Wish me luck and hopefully I don’t fall flat on my face.

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